Wednesday, October 29, 2003

I have realised I have made a major blunder today. I walk to Uni and back every day and it takes me about half an hour each way, adding up to an hour, approximately the time it takes to listen to a decent length album on me discman.

I'm currently stuck at Uni in a computer room for 2 hours having made the whole way through The Human League's Dare which scandalously is only about 40 minutes long. Thus I have to listen to the quiet murmurs of maths geeks instead of bleak 80s electro-pop.

Why, why, why didn't I bring something else with me?
I wuv Dizzee Rascal a lot. He is great. Boy In Da Corner is a little, um, bleak shall we say? So what a joy it is to hear him spitting his filthy vocal chords all over

Basement Jaxx feat Dizzee Rascal - Lucky Star

Because it's a Jaxx song, there's a stupid amount going on in this track - Egyptian hooks, accoustic human beatbox breakdowns, yodelling cowboys, but in the middle of it all you see Dizzee, uncontrolled master of all he surveys. The Jaxx are all about hooks, so Dizzee obliges stringing together more catchy bits than several slinkys welding together. Or something....

This is the sort of song where I imagine what should be going on the video - there should be a stupid number of special effects and colour flashes, inducing mass Pokemon-style epilepsy with Dizzee thundering around a enclosed room literally smashing it to bits with his raw aceness. Actually no, it shouldn't be the real Dizzee but an absurd charicature of him, maybe wearing a Bo' Selecta-style mask. That would be coo-el.

I don't have cable so I'll probably never see the video but if someone could email me and lie to confirm that the above is this case I would be happier than a badger.

Friday, October 24, 2003

No comment from me on Toilet-attendent-gate so instead let's talk about;

Busted - Crashed The Wedding

Actually, let's just talk about the intro. It's patently obvious to even the slightly sane that the song itself is awesomer than awesome.

It starts with that song organists play at weddings (is it Here Comes The Bride? It's over 20 years since my last wedding) slightly sped up and then, no doubt complete with sychronised jumping, the guitars explode in, literally crashing the wedding. I'd say it was post-modern if I had any grasp of what post-modern meant. As it is it means the same to me as a 14 year-old girl, but as this song is for 14 year old girls (and thus ace), I guess that makes my opinion on it gospel.

So there :p

Monday, October 20, 2003

Another strange pop dream last night; I was playing golf with Nadine and Nicola from Girls Aloud . I was absolutely whipping them, although Nadine was quite good. Nicola was rubbish.

What can this mean?

Friday, October 17, 2003

A very strange musical dream I had last night; I was at some sort of celebrity Top Of The Pops special where all the audience were (semi) famous and they all got to perform. I seemed to be the only non-famous person there, so during The Darkness' performance of I Believe In A Thing Called Love, Justin from The Darkness picked me out of the crowd and started swinging me around by my feet, demonstrating considerable strength.

Big Brovaz were the last to play and as they were singing Baby Boy, everyone commented on how nice it was that everyone had played, before I turned and saw Kelly Osbourne sulking because she hadn't. Because of my performance with The Darkness I had won respect with the glitterati and so I said that she should also play. Then she went off in a grump complaining about jet-lag.

It was at this point that my alarm went off.

I predict this dream come true within the next month.

Thursday, October 16, 2003

Yipes, nearly a week without posting - slacker than slack, eh? To be fair, work is starting to pile up - why can't I just crap on the internet for a living? Also, anyone who knows anything about combinatorial group theory, email me and I'll make it worth your while, if you know worrimean.

Anyway, to make up, here's that rare beast, a concert review by me;

Super Furry Animals @ Stoke Keele University

I don't go to many gigs because I reason that if music sounded better at a concert they'd record it there and release it (yes yes, I know about live albums you smart arses).

However, SFA have got as close as anyone to being MY FAVOURITE BAND; I was at one point buying all their singles as well as the albums, and it wasn't just because the B-sides were ace (but they were), I had become that foul creature, the indie-completist. But I don't do it anymore so there.

So yeah, I like this band a lot so when my lovely friend Clare suggested we high-tail it to Stoke for the evening I agreed.

We arrived as the doors opened and were about fourth through the door, swiftly following SFA guitarist Bunf who had lost his security pass and later almost spilt tea on Clare.

The support band were Dead Meadow, "from Washington.....DC". The "DC" wasn't to remove any ambiguity, more a result of their generally lazy demeanor. Anyway, they droned for about half an hour then buggered off.

Then on came on the Super Furries. Gruff played the first song wearing an outsized Power Rangers helmet (a red one for those interested). More bands should do this. I guess Daft Punk already do. Or rather they would if they actually played concerts.

SFA played a lot of stuff off Phantom Power and anything else which had those lazy (in a good way, natch) guitar slides. All very pleasent. Then they played lots of bangy buzz-surf stuff like "Calimeiro" and "Out Of Control", upon which all the smelly indie boys jumped up and down, pushing me about, obviously jealous because I can dance and they, being smelly indie boys, can't.

Smelly indie boys continued to jump up and down during the techno spazz-out that ran between the main set and encore, when the band reappeared wearing ludicrously hairy yeti costumes and struck classic rock poses, thus proving indisputibly that they are better than the Darkness.

It was all....consistent. It entertained but didn't blow away. I guess this was because it was a concert I was at and it'll be a surprised Nick who comes away from a concert having been blown away. I just stand there not really knowing what to do, dance or stare (both at the same time? Don't be daft) and thinking that it didn't sound as guess as on the CD.

Apparently I'm really missing out and in the minority but a 5 inch it of plastic (CDs are plastic, right?) still gives me more fun than a sweaty loud room of smelly indie boys.

Saturday, October 11, 2003

Crikey, 3 days without posting. That is slack, and I have punished myself in an appropriate manner. Apologies.

25 Reasons why Betty Boo is the greatest pop star evah

1. Like a lot of great pop stars, she's got a cartoon personality.
2. Unlike a lot of pop stars, she's actually named after a cartoon character (sort of).
3. She didn't bother with crappy ballads.
4. She instead bothered a lot with supa-dupa dance-rap singalongs.
5. Supa-dupa dance-rap singalongs are like the best genre evah, arguably better than rock and hip hop combined.
6. She stood out in the early 90s, even everyone knows that was the greatest era of music evah.
7. Doin' The Do is one of the best songs evah.
8. The sleave of Boomania is a cartoon strip of lots of people standing in awe of her, as it should be.
9. It also has evil baddies whose ass she will undoubtedly kick sometime in the future.
10. She's a girl.
11. Thus, she's not a boy.
12. Girls make the best pop stars; Missy Elliot or Ronan Keating? My point proved.
13. I listened to Boomania yesterday and have come to realise is a lost member of the canon. Why is Nevermind by the so-called Nirvana held up as ace and Boomania isn't?
14. This is two reasons because I can't emphasise this enough. Come on people, Where Are You Baby? or Smells Like Teen Spirit?
15. Betty Boo was, and still is hottt.
16. Look at some pictures if you don't believe me.
17. She wrote or co-wrote all her music, so she's real, and not imaginary or make believe or something.
18. Boomania and Grrr, It's Betty Boo are great album titles, unlike today's crap like Justified.
19. All her songs sounded pretty similar, and thus all sound pretty ace.
20. She now writes songs for Girls Aloud. 'Nuff said, as they said back in the 90s.
21. Girls Aloud are one of the best bands in the world, if not the Solar System, if not the galaxy, if not the Universe.
22. Although some folks think re-releasing Boomania and calling it The Best Of Betty Boo was cynical marketing exercise. I think it was to underline how planet-destroyingly great Boomania was.
23. I'm going to say Doin' The Do is one of the best songs evah again, because it's so goddamn true.
24. I imagine a lot of purists were pissed off by her. Haha, punk or what?
25. On the other hand she's a lot of purists' token pop pick, yet still manages to be cooler than cool.

Wednesday, October 08, 2003

Obie Trice - Got Some Teeth

I like this a lot. So much in fact that I've almost forgotten what that Holly Valance song sounds like. Actually I haven't forgotten because I know it sounds mental and ace. But anyway, Obie Trice....

I believe this track is produced by Eminem, which will no doubt be a selling point to some because, like, he's the world's biggest rapper and all. I guess he's quite a good producer, but then he did use all that guitary stuff on 8 Mile.

Obie is very cool on this track. I really like the way he starts each verse, like "Okey doke, Obie's here," it just rolls off nicely. The other two verse starts are good too, I just can't remember them.

However, the great thing about this song is that it's about a girl with no teeth. Let repeat that; A GIRL WITH NO TEETH. No-one that I can remember has ever approached this delicate subject matter before, let alone in a rap song, so kudos to Obie.

Obie's voice is rilly rilly kewl too, all lollaping and fumbled but totally with the stop-starting of the beat.

Oh yeah, that's the other thing, have you noticed how many times I've called him Obie? That's because his name is way cool. More rappers and singers should use their real names, except Genuwine, because his real name is Elgin Lumpkin, which is about 0.00000000001% as cool as Obie Trice.

Monday, October 06, 2003

Band T-shirts

I've come to the conclusions that:

a) Students have shit music taste.
b) They seem strangely proud of it.

There is no other way to explain someone wearing a Jet T-shirt. Jet were the greatest band in tha werld evah a few months back because they'd listened to no music since 1976 and didn't like DJs. So say the NME anyhoos. I haven't heard any of their music but I am nye on certain that they are crap. They have to be, don't they? It's only right.

Anyways, this guy was advertising the fact that he liked Jet, and thus advertising his twattedness. (It's just hit me that I like Public Enemy but I'm not a member of the Nation Of Islam - wot a hypocrite eh?)

I do actually own 3 band t-shirts, but that's OK because two of them are Super Furry Animals ones and thus ambiguous enough to simply be cool T-shirts. The other is a Twisted Nerve one (Christ knows why I have that), but that's OK because Badly Drawn Boy, founder of Twisted Nerve, was once quite good, although he should have been culled as soon as he stopped being quite good.

So there's me free of guilt. I guess I still look like a schmindie student but I know I'm better than that. I'd like to dress like Girls Aloud or Missy or Ol' Dirty Bastard but I think most of their stuff is custom-made alas.

So in general, band T-shirts are bad because most bands that have them are rubbish.

Sunday, October 05, 2003

Holly Valance - State Of Mind

Frrrrrrmmmmmpppphhhh, I had my provisional end-of-year singles list all sorted in my head and then Flick Scully comes along and spazzs it all up. I guess it was inevitable she would, after the Scullys are undoubtedly the best family Ramsey Street has ever seen and they caused all kinds of madness when they came in. Also, the "Kiss Kiss" video proved that the sun (or at least some sort of very powerful light beam) shines out of Holly's arse.

Ahem, anyway, enough of my televisual habits. This song is mad as a badger. It's basically electroclash (I think) filtered through a brick wall and loads of supa-cool guitars. Holly even yelps a bit, and although it doesn't sound as filthy as her previous singles lyrically, Ladbrokes have stopped taking bets on her appearing naked in the video.

Saturday, October 04, 2003

Missy Elliot - Pass That Dutch

Man, what a song to be undecided about. First let's pretend it's 3 years ago and Missy's last album was "Da Real World". Then this would be possibly the greatest thing since the initial inception of things.

However, currently it leaves me a little meh. If it came on in a club I'd still contort my body in a way I like to call dancing, yelling all the words and wonder why everyone else didn't know every nook and cranny of it, but......it's not "Get UR Freak On" or "Work It" is it?

Of course this in exact opposition to what I said about the Sugababes' newie earlier this week, but this is Missy I'm talking about; she's meant to chart new passages through my ear canals with every new lead single, not just make a super-cool Lumidee sound-a-like.

I can see myself reading this in a few months time and committing self-harm because "GURFO" and "WI" grew on me loads, but if I only have 5 seconds to catch my breath and respond.....

Thursday, October 02, 2003

Justin Timberlake - "Senorita"

This song has altered the way I speak the English language. I now can't actually say the word "Justin" without saying "JUSTIN!" like Pharrell does at the start of this song. It makes me sound very camp but it's just goddamn unavoidable. Curse you Williams.

Wednesday, October 01, 2003

I'm sat here trying to work out why some bloke is only letting me download some tracks off "As Heard On Radio Soulwax Part 1" and not others, my mind casts back to last Saturday, and an incident I seem to have only just remembered.

Picture the scene; I'm in Selectadisc, perusing the Trojan section when the sister rings. After yelling at her "bog off, I'm record shopping", I step back into the shop to discover my place among the racks has been taken by a skinny ginger bloke with a beard. This man intrigues me as he looks exactly like (the? I'm never sure if he'd like to be known in the same manner as an inanimate object) Aphex Twin. Reggae wouldn't seem like his bag, and neither would visiting Nottingham, but dear god he looks identical.

I browse the 60s psychedelica (yawn) next to him and keep looking up to shoot looks at him. I think this disturbs him and he walks out.

Should I have said something to him? What would he have done? He might have sceamed at me to stop annoying him like a pathetic little fanboy, he might have invited me back to his secret studio to listen to his major league experimental shit. Who knows?

Of course, what's more likely is he'd have said, "Actually mate, I'm not him at all, I just look like him", going on to complain that Richard D. James lookalikes don't get half as much work as the David Beckhams.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?