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Friday, February 27, 2004

Hi! Tim Kash here, you're host of the All New Top Of The Pops. You know, the other day, while relaxing in Andi Peters' spa bath (I like the bubbles), we hit upon a revelation. Andi said 'You know what Tim, we've been going the wrong way about this pop music TV show lark. What viewers want to see isn't music on a music show, it's fringe Hollywood stars "co-hosting" and fluffing their lines!'
'By jove, Andi', I cried, 'You're right. We could talk at length about their forthcoming star vehicle box office flop!'
'Yes!' screamed Andi, 'And what's more we could get them drunk beforehand so they're even more of an embarrassment!'
'And they'll make me look better!' I spluttered. 'I also like the idea of me editorialising by saying things like Keane, far from being boring and shit, are actually alternative AND rocking....at the same time!!!!!'
'God Tim, you're so great, I'm so glad I picked you.'
'Aw Andi, you're the bestest.'

We then both passed out through either excitement or heat exhaustion, I'm not sure."

Thursday, February 26, 2004

So a quick scan for Surferosa's website revealed their album is released in the UK on the 12th of April. They also do hella cool T-shirts (below), which are unfortunately only available at gigs. So tour Nottingham soon!



I well want that black one.
Ooh shit, I forgot to link to Edward's new column for Stylus, where he condenses his mind-boggling Soulseek Europop-finding skills down to a few hundred words.

Also at Stylus you'll find William Swygart's weekly chart rundown, which is worthwhile reading to say the least.
Surferosa - Saturday Night

I feel it is my civic duty to report that Edward is my new and only god. Out of the goodness of his heart he posts an MP3 of JC Chasez's Shake It on his blog for me, and also goes on to include this absolute gem, which I've had on repeat for the last 4 days or so. It's just killer in every sense of the word; buzzsaw guitar, drums firing on nitro and audible bass strings flying all over the place. Plus I'm an absolute sucker for "ooh-ooh"s or "uh-ooh"s and this has plenty as the chorus explodes around them. If I had my way, lyrics would be dispensed with entirely and replaced with random noises meaning nothing. I will endevour to find out more about Surferosa. They are currently rocking my world.
New Music In Public Places, Part 1

Fantasic! The bowling alley at last has new videos. I mean, they're not that good (the Beyonce single, Stacey Orrico, Boogie Pimps (OK, Boogie Pimps is quite good)) but at least they're new. I got sooooooo sick of the same fucking ones week after week. It reached a nadir about halfway through the third game when 2 Anastasia videos would come on in a row. God, I was normally bowling badly enough by then as it was, but Anastasia?????!!!!!!


New Music In Public Places, Part 2

The local Co-Op minimart has recently started employing loads of disillusioned-looking youths who obviously don't give a shit about working there (why would they?), and I walked in there the other night when the boss was obviously out and they were playing The Ramones' The Best Of the Chrysalis Years, with an unSpectorised version of Do You Remember Rock'N'Roll Radio?. Bless them, they even had a "Now Playing" poster up.

More power to the oppressed Co-Op workers!

Monday, February 23, 2004

New sidebar feature alert!

I swear I spend more time on that sidebar than actually writing stuff. I guess it teaches me HTML, for whatever reason I might need it in the future (that's what I tell myself anyway). Anyway, the new feature is the Friends & Enemies list. The first two friends are Simon Amstell (the real saviour of Radio 1, when they finally wake up) and Max Martin (who was five years ago yesterday was the saviour of pop as we knew it). The first enemy is the almightily shit Wes "Wes" Butters. I had pictures of Tim Kash and Kelly Jones too, but Blogger seems to have swallowed them.

Sunday, February 22, 2004

I've just had a horrible thought - I've been thinking for the last week that Britney is going to have an easy walk to the number one spot in two weeks' time with Toxic, but might it be that Peter Andre is coming out (steady headline writers!) that day too? I hope to god not, although knowing the sense of the not-so-great British singles-buying public, they'll probably leave on the top spot for two weeks.

Go Britters!
Teaching The Indie Kids To Dance Again is a new MP3 blog, doing mainly the DFA NYC P'n'F (punk'n'funk) thang. Anyway, he's got this thing where he lists the first twenty tracks which come up on his MP3 player when he puts it on shuffle. So I thought I'd do it too, the little plagarist that I am;

1. Heartbreak High theme (ahem)
2. The Rentals - Friends Of P
3. Morgan Geist - Machine Vibes
4. Sugababes - Hole In The Head
5. Justin Timberlake - Like I Love You
6. Sophie Monk - Inside Out
7. Girls Aloud - Love Bomb
8. Thomas Bangalter & DJ Falcon - So Much Love To Give
9. Young MC - Bust A Move
10. A*Teens - Upside Down
11. Romanthony - Floorpiece
12. S Club 8 - Sundown
13. Busted - 3am
14. 50 Pence - P.I.N.T.
15. *NSYNC - Pop
16. SWV - Right Here
17. Linus Loves - The Terrace
18. Motorbass - Ezio
19. Lumidee - Never Leave You (Uh-Oh)
20. Armand Van Helden - You Don't Know Me

Wow, there's at least 12 really mint songs there - haven't I just got great taste?

Friday, February 20, 2004



There's this guy in one of my lectures who is the spitting image of officially the worlds' greatest pop star (it woz proovd on World Idol sukkaz!) Kurt Nilsen, pictured above. The poor guy doesn't even look like he's having nearly as much fun as Kurt either. He has even worse hair too and judging by his t-shirts likes really shitty (and I mean shitter than your average indie band) indie bands.

Thursday, February 19, 2004

Basement Jaxx' Mere Pass appears as a B-side to Good Luck, I have just been informed.

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

New Killer Tune on da sidebar: Found this Jaxx track in someone's Soulseek folder, and have no idea where it's from. Anyway, it's ace. It has this the sort of warped string intro you seem get in grime (que multitudes of grime experts telling me I'm talking bollocks) and then slides into the sort of funked-up propulsiveness you expect from the winners of the Brit award that had the worst shortlist. They deserved to win by a country light year.
Here's a rather rare piece about The Greatest Band Evah (that's the A*Teens, U PHUULZ) by *gasp* a serious music writer who wuvs them too! All is right with the world.
It's The Brit Awards!

My thoughts:

1. Has Wes Butters become the voiceover of choice for youth media? Who actually thinks he's any good? He sounds like someone waaaay too overexcited by the fact his voice is beamed across the nation.

2. Why did they play a drum track over all the nominee clips? It fucked up the rhythm of them no end. And all that clipping to segment them in a DJ stylee, what was that all about? DJing became cool about ten years ago, get with the program.

3. Cat Deely was great, in a not-Tim Kash way. Could have done without the Darkness fawning - Colin & Edith won't chuck you out of the hip presenter clique for not shitting yourself at the mention of their name - but otherwise she kept it nice and minimal.

4. I liked the set - it kept the stage and the award zone seperate, thus making sure Muse didn't get the idea that they were getting anywhere near an award.

5. Busted rocked waaaay harder than Muse or The Darkness. I liked the fact that they weren't drunk when they got their first award, but were blatently wankered when they got their second.

6 Disappointment at the fact that the "exclusive collaboration" between Andre 3000 and Beyonce was in fact Hey Ya! followed by Crazy In Love.

7. Bits no-one else seemed to notice;
(a) Beyonce falling out of her dress whilst performing.
(b) Mel B calling Busted cunts.

8. Jamie Cullum is a Lord Of The Rings extra-faced urchin who should be culled from this planet. Evidence? He was wearing a quite nice suit.... with Chuck Taylors! Also he shouted all over the top of Katie Melua, who looked a bit lost.

9. I correctly predicted the first five awards from the nominations.

10. BASEMENT JAXX WON A BRIT!!!!!!! YAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!!
Anyone else notice how far they had to walk to the award area, having been stuck at the back.

All in all, I quite enjoyed the show.

Sunday, February 15, 2004

New sidebar song: I was going to pick Janet Jackson's almost unfairly ace Love Me For A Little While, but all the pop blogs have been bigging that up, and rightly so, so instead I'll recommend The Weekend's 80s Rockstar, which was on Fluxblog awhile back but has now no doubt gone. Anyway, get it off Soulseek 'cos it roolz. They're from London, but, and here's the twist, it's London, Ontario. Actually, thinking about it that's not really a twist, but it is nonetheless true.

Hmm, yeah, so lovely powery-punky-pop in a sort of arch-Avril way and thoroughly witty, I got it a couple of months ago and it's been pretty constant on my playlist since.


PS. Apart from Janet's new one, there don't seem to be a multitude of twattingly-brilliant pop stunners coming out at the moment (there's a tabloid headline in that sentence somewhere, I swear). I know it's only February, but there's no Move Your Feet or Danger! High Voltage yet, which kind of disappoints me. Ho-hum.
Apparently it was Tim Kash's birthday on Friday - Peter Andre presented him with a cake on Top Of The Pops (let's be honest, it's what everyone wants for their birthday) - so can I be the first to say

WHO IN THE HELL GIVES A SHIT?

Monday, February 09, 2004

Oh yeah, I've added my Soulseek username to the sidebar. Feel free to gorge yourselves on my erratic collection of unsorted gems.
I've changed my tune of choice on the sidebar to Kelis' Trick Me. I really like the whole of Tasty, perhaps because she has broadened out from the Neptunes' sound. I hear her on a Neps beat and unless it's something mentally out-there like Milkshake, I end up comparing it to Kaleidoscope which is one of my favourite records ever, so new stuff will invariably come up short.

Trick Me is a Dallas Austin track. One you get over the fact that he sounds like he's a professional wrestler and look back at his back-catalogue, you realise he's done some crackers; TLC's Creep, JC Chasez's Blowin' Me Up (With Her Love), Brandy & Monica's The Boy Is Mine. He seems to be able to make his songs bombastically-poptastic (Blowin' Me Up...) or glidingly cool (Creep) ... or both (Trick Me)!

More love for my man Dallas I say!
There's a great article about Timbaland and The Neptunes here by Sasha Frere-Jones, who apparently is really ace at this music writing lark, according to those in the know. It's pretty mammoth but dead interesting, when loads of talk about how producers make kick-arse records could be dead boring. It certainly beats hearing about how a guitarist got a certain sound from their geetarr.

Thursday, February 05, 2004

Possibly the most embarassing thing evah

A bloke's mobile started ringing in one of my lectures today - quite embarassing in itself, but the worse is still to come.

His ringtone was Clocks by Coldplay. Oh the shame! I'm ashamed just to be sharing a course with the guy.

Note for my stalkers: my ringtone is the Can-Can, because my phone is shit, and proud of it.

Wednesday, February 04, 2004

Edward O writes of Kevin Lyttle's newie;

It's not as good, but really, how many songs really are better than Turn Me On. The song you're listening to on the radio right now almost certainly isn't.

To be fair, if you're listening to UK radio, the song you're listening to on the radio right now almost certainly IS Turn Me On, which is fine by me.


Also, has the Blazin' Squad movie already been made?

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