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Saturday, March 27, 2004

Well, I'm writing about Top Of The Pops Saturday this week, because I felt shit last night. Or should that be, I felt unwell?

Yes, possibly because of Janet's Boobgate, although I am open to the possibility that's it's not because of that, all the rude words are being cut out of a Saturday morning kids show. Imagine!

Firstly, they played the video to Busted's Ait Hostess, which was pretty typical of their stuff (eg. high jinx from our cheeky heros). I enjoyed it as Air Hostess is my favourite Busted song. BUT THEY CUT OUT THE BEST LINE!!!! The bit about messing your pants when flying over France. Surely that has no dodgy connotations? Lots of kids have bowell problems and it might raise their spirits to know that one of Busted (I suspect Charlie) might have to wear the special undies.

To add to that, apparently the word hell is too risque for TOTPS, as McFly found out. I blame Mel Gibson.
Well, I'm writing about Top Of The Pops Saturday this week, because I felt shit last night. Or should that be, I felt unwell?

Yes, possibly because of Janet's Boobgate, although I am open to the possibility that's it's not because of that, all the rude words are being cut out of a Saturday morning kids show. Imagine!

Firstly, they played the video to Busted's Ait Hostess, which was pretty typical of their stuff (eg. high jinx from our cheeky heros). I enjoyed it as Air Hostess is my favourite Busted song. BUT THEY CUT OUT THE BEST LINE!!!! The bit about messing your pants when flying over France. Surely that has no dodgy connotations? Lots of kids have bowell problems and it might raise their spirits to know that one of Busted (I suspect Charlie) might have to wear the special undies.

To add to that, apparently the word hell is too risque for TOTPS, as McFly found out. I blame Mel Gibson.

Thursday, March 25, 2004

New thing I like about music: the way Jon Snow says hip hop.

There was an article on Channel 4 news tonight about Dangermouse's The Grey Album and the way veteran, and rather good news anchor Jon Snow introduced it was K-lassic.

Now, what do you get when you cross the Beatles with Jay-Z, one of the biggest rappers in hip hop?

The way he said hip hop was brilliant, inverting the hop rather than the hip, the way your dad does but without the sarcasm. Very innovative; I predict it will be used in a hit record by the end of the year, possibly in collaboration with Lil' Jon. I hope anyway. Lil' Jon and Big Jon, the kings of crunk and early evening news, respectively.

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

New sidebar song; Disco D feat Princess Superstar - Fuck Me On The Dancefloor

Now I wuv Detroit booty bass. It's inherently daft enough to not just overlook the mysogny, but revel in it. However, Princess Superstar tears shit up 4 da ladeez. The beat is about 37459567bpm but she keeps up with it in her cool timbre talking about stuff which is frankly unhygenic.

My favourite bit is when she says;

The roof, the roof, the roof is on FIYAH!

Now there are so many cool words you can rhyme with FIYAH! like HIYAH!, LIYAH! or STATIONARY SUPPLIYAH!, but so caught up in her sordid thoughts she just says;

We don't need no water - I'm about to fucking come!

Gets the point across wouldn't you agree?
God, I've been so sporadic (good word - I shall endevour to use it more) with the bloggin'. Maybe I'm getting the pop-apathy Mr PJ is talking about. Actually, nah, I'm not, just obsessed with Uni projects (seriously, how much can write about rectangles?).

I've worked out why the kiddie-voices in the Kanye song work (hold on, this is quite revalatory for me); Kanye's trademark is pitched-up vocal samples, who else has high voices????? That's right! Kids! Sometimes I suprise even myself with my brilliance.

Thursday, March 18, 2004

Isn't this like describing a baseball bat as the antidote to aspirin?

Monday, March 15, 2004

Kanye West - We Don't Care

It may have taken about three weeks to arrive because of rubbishy Amazon.co.uk, but the Kanye West album is great. The hip hop posse (actually, isn't the correct phrase "unit" or "crew" now? I don't know, I can't keep up) on ILM have been dissing it a bit saying it's not the meisterwork it could be, but for someone who does like a lot of hip hop but not to an obsessive degree, it couldn't be better (critical hyperbole alert!).

Anyway, my favorite track is the opener, We Don't Care. It's got this lazy summer feel which makes me think the video should be Kanye chilling out on the back of a lorry as it cruises through town, although I do think this is the best idea for pretty much any video (see Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince, Bjork, Vanessa Carlton). Kanye's flow is very chant-along and easy and it just draws you in.

But the best bit about this song is that it has a group of kids singing on it....and doesn't sound shit! Throughout history, there have been songs made shit by groups of kids singing on them; Career Opportunities by The Clash, that Dunblane song, St. Winnifred's School Choir (Grandma would've been sooooo ace without the kids). But Kanye pulls it off (the song that is, let's not go too far down that Gary Glitter road) and for that he has my upmost worship.
Well, OK, that picture thing did work. Bugger. Ah well, maybe one day I will find a way to host pictures but until that day, this page will remain the preserve of only text and other pics you can find on better websites.

Monday, March 08, 2004

Cool, it didn't. That may well mean I can post my own pics too now, as well as ones off this interweb thingy.
This is a test which may well fuck up;


I'll try and stick a new sidebar track up when I get home tonight too.
God, it's been awhile hasn't it? I was going to post something about Peter Andre last week but he's been made to look rather irrelevant by this rather wonderful news.

Yes, the Britney is number for the first time since Oops, I Did It Again. Rah for her, and boo for me, who though she'd get beaten by Peter Andre and Casper The Unfriendly DJ. This is also the first really good number one since at least Crashed The Wedding, which still wasn't as good as Toxic. Thus in the space of 3 or 4 minutes, two pop cultural institutions have been fished from the success dumper; Britney and the UK Singles Chart. I'm glad, because whilst remaining by far the most interesting global pop star for 5 years, Britney was starting to overshadow her music, which has stayed pretty awesome throughout I mean how great will a Britney singles collection be? Very.



OK, well I have got time for a short missive about Peter Andre. Mysterious Girl is quite a good song, albeit coming originally at the tail end of the chart reggae boom of the early 90s and sounding not totally dissimilar to Inner Circle's Sweat. It existed very happily in the confines of student discos and cast-off Now! compilations, and existed mainly as a song. This suited me fine.

Now of course, it's had the cult of the celebrity stapled to it, and that's taken away its kitsch value. Never again will I be able to dance to this song without the spectre of the Moyles floating before me, and after too many Smirnoffs, this could spell disaster for my fellow dancefloor-dwellers.

On top of that, everyone seems uneasy about the issues of irony that it's thrown up, not sure what side of the fence to sit on, in much the same way that The Darkness seem to spark quasi-theorising on the value of liking something spat out by Heat-culture. One can't can't help thinking that in a few months' time people will be saying, "Hey, remember when Peter Andre made his comeback - weren't we suckers for buying into that? When Adam Rickett's new one out?" This current white hot exposure for Mysterious Girl may well result in it being reviled in coming years and losing the kitsch excitement it could generate year after year.

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